Bed Time

Okay so those of you who know me and my family know that my little girl sleeps in bed with us every night. Now I've had people tell me that it was bad, I've had others tell me it was okay (including her pediatrician), but I for some reason feel the need to explain my position on this. It's not because she doesn't have a bed, it's not because she doesn't have a bedroom, it is completely and utterly selfish.

My little girl spent the first seven weeks of her life in the NICU. Born ten weeks early, there was no choice. So the first fifty one days of her life were spent in an incubator. I couldn't hold her the first time until she was seven days old. And even then I could only hold her for half an hour every other day. The NICU nurses got to be with her and around her more than I did. It was amazing she even developed an attachment to me when she first started out. I cried myself to sleep praying every night to God that she would just make it through the night and that he would keep his hands on her and keep her breathing and healthy. On nights that it stormed I would cry myself to sleep and pray that she would be safe in the hospital on the top floor. Every night, I woke up in the wee hours, and call the NICU nurses to check on her.

So, is it selfish that she sleeps in bed with us? Absolutely. Does it bother me? Absolutely not. It wasn't always like this. For the first year she was always right beside me in a bassinet, (family heirloom that she fit into well after her year mark) then she fit into a big girl crib and it too was right beside my bed. Then we noticed that she would go to sleep in the crib and wake up next to us in bed. Well I tried to put her in her crib in her room. After the first night of waking up and she wasn't there for me to just look at and feel or see that she was still breathing, I threw my hands up, brought her to bed and she's been there ever since.

The ability to wake up in the middle of the night and reach out and know she's okay is a peace of mind that I'm not willing to give up yet. The ability to be right there when she wakes up from a nightmare, I'm not willing to give up yet. The waking up every morning to a slap on the shoulder and a kiss on the cheek, I'm not willing to give up yet. She'll eventually get to the point where she's ready for her own bed, and when she is, I'll let her. But until she decides she wants it, I'm going to remain the selfish mom that I am, and enjoy the peace of mind, while I can.

2 Year Wellness check

Well Squeak's 2 year check up was yesterday. She's doing great! She is now 32 and a quarter inches and 21.4 lbs. LoL! She's so damn little! LoL! But the doctor said for her ratio of weight gain, she's doing good. Of course, she wants her back in within the next 3 months for a weight check, but other than that, she's great! She unfortunately got a shot in the leg, her Hep A vaccine, but that's it until she's 3. Hoping she wont need to see her any more than that!


Anyway, short post I know but...here it is! :) Holla!

Wow...been slacking!!!

Okay so yes, and no on the slacking part. I've been sick as a dog lately and it's kinda hampered my writing as often as I'd like. I have had 3 sinus infections in a row and my doctors are positive now that it's my tonsils causing all of them and they may need to take them out soon. Ugh! But outside of that, things have been good.

Young'un keeps getting bigger and bigger and she imitates everything now. She says a lot more words now too, some with the signs at the same time. Like pretty and more and eat. She said cookie last night! It was so awesome! And she says kitty and blue is her new favorite word. It's so funny to be somewhere and she can spot a woman's shirt in the grocery store and just start calling out "Blue." "Blue." until someone acknowledges that we see what she's talking about and she did good by saying blue. LoL!

She's such a little person. It kills me how much she grows every day. She's going to be leggy when she gets older. She's gonna break hearts. Her daddy and I have been looking into a few things for her when it comes to school too. I really want to home school. He's worried that if we home school, her full potential will not be reached and he's wanting to see if we can enroll her in a magnet school. I'm just not sure about it. Any opinions on the matter?

Anyway, that's about all. Just growing and learning. Such a little big person. :)

Two years old

Wow little girl. You're two years old! You're acting so big now! You sit at a table and eat, you pretend everything, you will throw things away, scrape off your tea plates into the trash even when there's nothing on them, help me with the dishes, sweep the floor, wipe off someone's face and hands (yeah that's a new one), getting dressed by yourself, I mean the list goes on and on and on. You are so independent it's not even funny. You have just a few favorite toys, and that line there, I'm fixin to get rid of the thirty million you have that you never play with. LoL!

This year for your birthday wasn't a major blow out bash like last year but you had so much fun all the same. You got some clothes and a baby from grandma and grandpa and a tea table from your em-em and pe-pa but as normal for you and your mind, the balloons your aunt brought you are your favorite thing so far. LoL! Yep, that's my little girl for ya!

Oh and lately you've found a way to completely defuse me when you are in trouble. How? readers might ask. Okay you squint your eyes, turn your head and roll your eyes to look away. Do you know how hard it is to stay mad at you when you do that? And it's hard as hell not to smile and laugh. I'm smiling now thinking about it. Ugh. You're growing up too fast little girl. I'm gonna have to start giving you coffee in the morning to stunt your growth! LoL! Just kidding. Love you baby girl.

Chores

Yes, everyone, my 23 month old has chores. She does them when I ask, very diligently I might add. She takes her job very seriously. Right now, her chore, is to help me with the dish washer. She absolutely loves it. We're working on putting the toys away, but right now the big one is the dishes. So, it takes me twice as long to get my job done because she has to pull each dish out one by one, then when she's done with the bottom, since she can't reach the top, I have to take all of the bowls and such and put them on the bottom, so she can keep helping because she will ask "more please" in sign language when she's done with the bottom shelf. But it's so awesome when we're done, to see that sense of accomplishment that comes over her face, is worth the couple of extra minutes that it takes.

Side note, sign language, she's picking up on it really well, and her Speech Therapist is beginning to wonder if she's not talking because she just doesn't have the want to do it. She hasn't found that one thing that's worth it to her, to start talking. And she said to watch out because when she starts, it's most likely going to be in complete sentences. LoL! And we've found in her appointments that she is extremely mechanically inclined and curious. She's going to fit into this bunch perfectly! She's got an uncle that is a mechanic, an uncle that races and fixes cars with her mama and she's got a daddy that works on tractors with her pee-pa and other uncle. Yep, she's gonna be a one of a kind alright. And I couldn't be prouder.

Thundestorms

As a kid growing up, and my parents can vouch for this, storms scared the crap out of me. As I got older, and especially now, they fascinate me. So I was worried about my daughter when it came to storms, because we don't exactly reside in the quietest part of the nation, lemme tell ya. So, I started on her early, taking her to the windows to look out when a thunderstorm came through, or laying down when they were bad. I can proudly say now, my daughter is as fascinated by storms as I am. She stands at the window and watches them roll in with me. Or if she's asleep or napping she's out. They rarely if ever wake her up. Boy if my grandma could see us now. LoL! She was always one to watch them roll through too. Now Chance's grandma could care less about a storm unless it's severe. Growing up it used to drive me nuts that mom would be out there grilling steaks during a tornado or watching the funnel develop over the house. Then, what do ya know? I'm the one standing outside watching the funnel, not caring one way or another about the storm unless it's strong and on top of us, or severe. LoL! Like mother like daughter, right ma? LoL!

But I'm so glad she's not scared of them. Her daddy is a worry wart when it comes to storms, and I remember being like that until my dad broke it down like this, plain and simple. If it's your time to go, it's your time to go. If you're in a house and a tornado gets ya, it was meant to be. If you're in a tornado shelter when that tornado hits the house, then you're gonna have a heart attack in that tornado shelter and ya still gonna go. That actually made a bigger impact on me than I thought about actually at the time, but the point was the same. So then, it was just like ah well. LoL! But that's all for now. Watching a storm rumble through here while the baby gazes intently out the window. This is the life. : )

Look Ma! I'm a Picaso!

Okay so we've all given our children a Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head to play with. Well my daughter today gets hers, brings it to me to open it up, then when all the pieces are out (6 plus the potato), she starts unceremoniously stuffing the parts of the Mrs. Potato Head under her armpit, trying to grab the potato part as well and just kept working at it, putting the other parts down, to bend down and grab the parts that fell, so that she could stuff them up under her armpit again. I absolutely rolled! I couldn't help it. And the more she did it, the harder I laughed. She finally got it all and took it to the carpet to play with it. But man I had to share.

Those Annoying Toys

Okay so everyone that has kids knows that there is one toy that your child loves that just annoys the crap out of you right? Yes well Chance's is an Elephant made by Fisher Price that teaches the parts of the face and has this little thing on it's stomach that you spin and it plays music accordingly. Well a few weeks ago, it died. The batteries needed to be replaced. I wasn't upset that it took as long as it did to replace them. She loved her elephant regardless of whether it played or not. Well a couple of nights ago, daddy replaced the batteries in it. And it worked again. Well today, they died again. So I'm thinking it's more the toy itself than it is the batteries. But time will tell. I'm sure daddy will replace them again, but until that time, she's got a great play toy that she can love on.

Is it bad that I can't say that her toy is dead without smiling?

Long time visit

Well, little girl had a GREAT visit with her grandma and grandpa. She hasn't seen them since Thanksgiving of last year and you would never know it. She had to wake up a bit the first morning, but once she was up and around she was all about them. Giving hugs and loves. I have to laugh, one night she was throwing an absolute fit and grandpa would not come to her rescue. It was seven the next night before she'd talk to him again.

She had a great visit with her grandparents. I cant wait til I can actually get her to their house and into their pool. That's what I want to see. I'm so excited. She's growing so much. She weighs in at a whopping 19.4 lbs now and we've upped her carnation and ice cream intake. But, she's still in 9-12 month clothes. LoL! Like my mom said, we're going to get a lot of use out of her clothes! LoL!

I've decided too watching her recently, when it comes to her birthday I'm going to tell everyone to get her empty cold drink bottles for her presents. She's got a million toys around here and she's focused on her daddy's cold drink bottles that he spits his dip in. Uh uh uh. She's my daughter, what can I say.

A Parent's Promise

I saw this recently on a facebook status and I had to copy it and share it. I'm not sure where it even came from but I have to share.

Promise to my child: I am not always your friend. I am your Parent. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed, because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays cares & worries about you more than I do!!!

Growiin up

Well, little girl is doing so much now! She is all about lovin's now and when we go to bed at night I will tell her it's time for bed. She runs to the baby gate and gets ready to go. Then I have to tell her to give her daddy a hug and a kiss good-night and she turns, and gives this big old smile and runs, and I mean RUNS to her daddy, arms up and gives him a hug and kiss. She's been a lot more interested in trying to talk too here lately. She tries to start conversations even though we can't understand a word she's trying to say. LoL! But the fact is she's trying.

And I went to a friends house the other day, and she's gained a pound in the last month! She's still so little. Man. But she's gaining more than she was so I'm way happy about that! Woo woo! Aight well she's testing my patience at the moment so I will sign off, but tomorrow is her first speech therapy appointment so hopefully I will have something to report. :)

Ren Fest '11

So every year they hold a Renaissance Festival through out May. Well I try to go to it, at least once while it's here. Well the last couple of years we've taken Squeaker. She had a ball yesterday! It's a day that mommy can dress up like a wench (Even though it was with a pair of jeans instead of a skirt) and it's the one time a year I get my Dragon Tails. Deep fried Snickers. I'm doing the Homer Simpson beer drool just thinking about it. But she loves it too! She gets to see shows and she doesn't really walk around a whole lot, but she loves the atmosphere and things.

Yesterday I think her favorite thing was the pirate comedy show followed in a close second to the Bagpipes and Drums show. It was so neat! Well I realize this is a short post but hey, what can ya do? LoL! Thats all for now. Until tomorrow!

Another Wellness Check

Okay so yesterday was her 18 month check up with her new doctor. Yes, there's another new pediatrician in the same office. However she's supposed to be on the roster for good so hopefully she will be Squeak's new and permanent doctor. She's really nice and we really like her a lot. She took time to answer questions and is just a great people person. And Squeak's liked her too so that is definitely a plus.
Well, she's no longer even in a percentile for weight. She's gained 2 oz and isn't even 20 lbs yet. So, the doctor has given us more ideas for adding on calories. Carnation Instant Breakfast in her milk, real butter on her potatoes, peanut butter on her bread, the whole nine. So, we're hoping it goes well and we'll find out in a couple of months for a weight check. Ugh.
Anyway, nothing else is new, all is pretty well so far thankfully. Her incisors are coming through, 2 on top and 1 on the bottom. Oh yeah. All at the same time. You can imagine the teething in this house! Wow! But anyway, just wanted to update and let everyone know how she's doing! Until later!

Wow...SO much new stuff!

Where to start! First off, we'll start with Giggle's first theme park visit! That's right! We took her to Lake Winnie in Georgia! It was amazing! As little as she is, there were rides that she could ride, of course, with an adult beside her. So it was me, daddy and her Uncle G. We knew that she was either going to be a roller coaster junkie like me, or she was gonna be scared to death. So we figured we'd put her on a ride first thing, and see what happened.

So, her and daddy rode the Bumble Bee's. Just a little ride that goes around and around and up and down. Nothing major, just your typical kids ride. So they get in, buckled up and the ride starts. To our distinct pleasure, she LOVES it! She thought it was just great! So next, we rode the elephants together. Same concept, just little elephants instead of bumble bees. Again, she loves it. Well at this point, daddy keeps her while Uncle G and I decide to get on the Pirate Ship. One that's not for kids and one that swings back and forth, but you feel like you're gonna fall out at any moment, yeah. Love that one! So once that was done, we rode the Genie which is one of those spinny rides. Lots of good fun. Even though my shorts tried to fall off, and when you're spinning as fast as that ride does, it's not like your body can just come off the wall enough to reach down and pull your breeches back up. :)

Regardless, once we rode that, daddy and Giggles rode the big slide down together, and then it was time to eat. Of course, with my daughter, anything chicken is good for her. Now, it's hot, and the water we have for her is getting warm so daddy buys her a blueberry slushie. Well, let me tell ya, she loved it! Well once we get done eating we go to the other side of the park for some more big kid rides. Of course me being one of those big kids, Uncle G and I ride the only wooden coaster in the park (The name of it escapes me at the moment) and daddy walks around. Well daddy decides to go to the front of the track where we can't see him immediately, so we get on the coaster again, and then daddy shows back up so all was well. Well as the day was winding down, we got her on the Tin Lizzies, the Carousel, then we rode the bumble bees a couple more times and then the last ride of the day, the boat chute. And all of you know it's the little boat that goes around, down a big hill then splashes you at the bottom, right?

She LOVED IT! Well, until she got wet. But she loved trip to the hill, up the hill and back down it! Tee hee! My little girl is a coaster junkie, and I couldn't be more proud! We had more fun that day than we have in a long time. There's just something about going to a theme park with a child that just opens your eyes to a whole new world, beyond the park. The wonder held in that child's eyes. Just amazing.

Then, her second Easter. This one was a lot more fun, because she was aware of different things. Like her first Easter Egg hunt, and her first big Easter basket. She absolutely LOVED the Easter Egg hunting in the living room and I mean she had a ball! Then we took her to Pop-pop and Em-em's. For Easter there, she got her first Tri-cycle! It's a Radio Flyer and so cute! Such a good day for all of us.

She's so amazing! And she gets more and more amazing by the day! She's still not talking, but seems to really be picking up on the sign language. She loves that she can communicate with me and I love that she's picking up on it. Time will tell how long she will need to do it, but honestly, if she'll learn, I'll teach!

Well, that's all for now. Giggles is asleep on my leg and I've got to move both her and myself before my leg falls asleep! Later peeps!

Wow moment

Okay so I watch the show Teen Mom on MTV. Yes, yes I know, technically I'm "too old" to be watching the show but I can't help it. Well in the last episode, one of the moms with twins has been given some bad news about one of her little girls. And I watch this and I'm in tears. I mean it's really hard for me to watch this and not think about Giggles. It's so easy to take for granted what you have with a healthy baby. My premie could have not even been here. And not only did she make it, she did it without any breathing problems or major scares outside of the MRSA in the NICU. There were so many complications during my pregnancy, I went in for emergency surgery when she was only 3 weeks along, I went in for an emergency c-section when she was born, I mean the list goes on and on. I have been so blessed that she has been relatively healthy. Outside of her weight gain being slow, we've been very lucky. I can only pray that the luck continues with her and that she remains in good standing. She's my whole world. I can't even imagine what this girl is going through with her daughter. I can tell you, as a mother with a premie, I can COMPLETELY understand what it's like to blame yourself for your child/children's possible shortcomings. And it's irrational to do so, and as a mother, you know that, but it doesn't make a difference. You can't help how you feel. I am praying for her family and her little girl and I hope that all turns out alright, and that these things can all be taken care of with therapy. Pray that she stays strong and keeps her faith up, because faith will get you an your family through whatever comes your way, no matter the outcome.

Dear Chance (Part 3)

Today I was ready to kill ya. Since you are walking around and going everywhere, you are also getting into EVERYTHING! I tell you no, and you look at me as if to say "Yeah right." And it doesn't matter if I sit you down in the floor, or pop your butt, nothing phases you. Except your Daddy or your Uncle G. They can look at you and say no and boy, it's the end of the free world! LoL! You're so funny. It's just terrible when someone tells you no. Well, someone besides me! LoL! You've started yelling back at me when I tell you no now too. Mama's gonna put a stop to that one, lemme tell ya. Not sure how, getting some creative ideas from your Grandma though. My mom. Oh yeah half pint, she's on my side! LoL!

Don't get me wrong though Giggles, it's not all bad. You giggle and laugh more than any child I know. You are the whole reason I get up every morning. Your Uncle G, Daddy and I were talking the other night. We thought that life was good before. We never knew what we were missing until you came along. You've brought so much light and life into this house. Yes, even when you're testing my patience, and trust me child, you test my patience on a daily basis, I still wouldn't trade a thing on this earth for you.

Admittedly sometimes I feel guilty. And maybe it's stupid that I feel this way, but I was so scared to be a mom. So scared to have a child. Your Daddy wanted one right away. He couldn't wait to be a Daddy. But I was scared stupid. Now, I think about the fact that the fear in that was stupid and I should have had you years ago. Then I think, if I had, how things might have been different. Your great grandpa would have had a chance to meet you. Your great grandma would have had more years to know you, and you would remember her. I don't know, like I said, stupid stuff. Maybe your grandma and grandpa wouldn't have moved. Now on that aspect of it are plus sides and minus side. Minus being if they hadn't moved, we wouldn't live where we do, which is a house I grew up in, and an amazing home to raise a family. Plus being if they hadn't moved, well, they'd be here. LoL! But you know, I can set there and talk about what-ifs all day long and it wouldn't change what is. What is now, you are my reason for living each day to it's fullest. You and I just had a convo about you stashing BBQ potato chips all over this living room so you could come back and snack on them when you want. You love giving kisses and hugs and love typing on my KEYBOARD WHILE I'M TYPING!!!! LoL! You're my whole world little girl. I can't begin to tell you how much I love you.

Well, your daddy is home, and you haven't seen him all day, so I'm gonna let you run to the door to see him. I'll talk to you later baby. I love you!

Mama

Wellness Check

Well, lets start with Christmas shall we? Yeah, this will explain why I haven't blogged in a bit. Christmas morning. I was all excited. Uncle G got up and got me and the baby out of the bed at seven in the morning. Yes thats right, seven A.M. Where is the coffee!?!?!? LoL! So getting back to our story here. Uncle D was asleep on the couch and as in true Giggles fashion (Yeah her new nickname is Giggles), she had to be with her Uncle G. And it's a good thing this time, because I took a header OVER the baby gate, head first into the laundry room door jamb. So my brother gets up off the couch asking me if there is anything he can do for me. My first reaction...Get my husband. Well he comes running out of the bedroom and down the hallway, sends the baby gate through the kitchen and is on the ground with me, picking me up and setting me in one of the kitchen chairs. Well I'm swimmy, but I decide that I'm gonna go ahead and enjoy Christmas, I was okay. I put a band-aid over the gash in my leg and go on. Well at around noon, I get in the shower to get ready to go to the in-laws and I get nauseated and my head starts hurting so I decide, I'd probably better go to the hospital. Well I get there, there's thankfully not like a million people, but I get in there, the doctor looks at my leg and low and behold, I had a mild concussion from the door jamb, and that little cut that I just threw a band-aid over, yeah FIVE STITCHES! Oh yes, you heard me right, five. Lemme tell ya, it hurt!

Well we got through with all of that, then my husband goes to work, gets a virus from a customers house (He's a tech for one of the cable companies around here), and he gets sick, goes in on his birthday and his boss carts him to the emergency room. He gets IV's run because of dehydration. So, I start feeling rough. on New Years Eve, and what happened? Yes, you guessed it. I was in the hospital on New Years Day, because of dehydration. And wait for it, because I'm not done yet! Just as we're leaving the hospital (Which by the way, good thing, they were able to take my stitches out right there), little girl starts getting sick, and I mean it goes everywhere. Thankfully we had medicine and she didn't get dehydrated.

So wow. Yeah. It's been more than nuts. Good note though, we got Giggles that baby can read program for Christmas. WOW! I'm way impressed with the way it works and how well. They have flash cards, a DVD and a book that you go through these words, like Arms Up, Nose...so on and so forth. And it's got tough words too like Elephant and Tiger. So it's pretty amazing. And yes, we got her to the doctors on Monday for a Wellness Check. It was for her fifteen month check up, even though she was a lot closer to her sixteenth month. Well, her length is great for a premie in the 50th percentile, her head measurements are in the 28th percentile but her weight is in the less than one percentile. I'm a little freaked out about that. Her pediatrician said to keep doing what we've been trying to put the weight on her still and to keep trying to pack on the calories. She isn't too concerned with her weight because she's very active and she said that outside of the weight being low, she's completely healthy and developing really well. It still just freaks me out though!

Outside of that, she's doing amazingly. She walks everywhere and she's even to where she tries to run. She's all about her Uncle and her daddy when they get home and she rightly fits her new nickname. She doesn't so much hiccup any more all the time like she did, but she is always, always laughing and giggling at something. She's so beautiful. I don't know how I got so lucky.