I did good...I didn't cry at the hospital when I left my little girl. I waited until I was home! I'm getting better. Yesterday I got to hold her for a good while. She was wide awake almost the whole time. Except when I was holding her she hunkered down again and went to sleep after eating. They said at the hospital that she's such a big little girl. Just waiting to grow. They said at the moment she's wide awake right now. They said she's so cute. LoL! I can't help but smile and nod my head on the other end and say thanks. She's such my little angel baby. I can't wait to have her home. I look at her picture on my computer and it makes me want to cry. I can't believe that beautiful little baby came from me. My husband and I created life. It's amazing what love can do. I look at my husband now and I have a profound new love for him. I wouldn't have my angel if it wasn't for him. And yeah, any guy can lay down and make a baby. They do it all the time. But it takes a daddy to create an angel. It takes love to create a heart and a will and the strength to pull through that my little girl has. She's so tough. Everyone says that. That she's feisty! LoL! I love it! I can't imagine life without her. The last 9 days have been a MAJOR roller coaster though. I'm not even gonna pretend that they haven't been.
The rational part of me knows that my daughter is in the best place for her, but the mother in me just wants her home right now. I want to be able to pick her up when she cries. To feed her when she's hungry. To change her diaper when she's wet. To hold her when she needs held. To feel her warm little body against mine when she sleeps. Those little moments that mean evereything. Being able to kiss her tiny nose and feel here rest against me, knowing that it's okay. Mama's here. She's safe. She's loved more than life itself.
Anyway, back to my daughter, and off of my ramblings. She's doing great. She did amazing yesterday when I held her. They've upped her feedings to 19 ML's and I will check later but I'm assuming they will bump her up to 21 today. I will make sure. Oh and she gained her 5 grams back last night. She's still 2 lb 4 oz, but she got her 5 grams back! Woo hoo! She's growing! I'll be happy when she gets back to her birth weight. Man it seems to be taking so long to put the weight on. UGH! When I can look at a candy bar and put 5 lb's on my hips immediately!? Come on! Let's get going little body! Put that weight on! LoL! Anyway, she's doing so well. I'm so happy. I'm so proud of my little girl. She was properly named. It was when I left it to chance that she was concieved. Now it's by God's good grace that she's doing so well I'm sure, but I can't imagine changing her name to Grace. LoL!
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