Dear Chance (Part 2)

We're almost at your second Christmas. You walk around everywhere now and are steadier than ever. You stay on mine and your daddy's schedule which your teacher said was okay, since you aren't old enough for it to matter, as long as you are getting the sleep you need.

The other night in bed you managed to get your diaper off, AGAIN! Only this time, you wet the bed. So we learned real quick that pajamas with bottoms instead of just a shirt, is a must! LoL! I laugh at how spoiled you're getting. Your daddy and I are in trouble later! LoL! And your Uncle only serves to spoil you more at times! It's so funny, you have a set schedule every day. You wake up, every morning, and you have to have your Uncle. First thing. And heaven forbid if he works early one morning, it just messes up your whole day. And you have to have your milk. That's your go go juice in the morning. You are so loved in this world. We put the tree up a few days ago and you are just amazed by it when you look at it. Of course, you are all about the ornaments, so I have to stay on top of you and make sure you don't grab them. Your favorite toy right now is this little plastic cow that came out of a barn that helps to teach shapes and letters. Your teacher has me teaching you nose, mouth, eyes and ears and every time I get to the ears part, you giggle, oh it's just the funniest thing.

And Symphony is teaching you ALL of her bad habits. You started growling, you yell when she barks, and you've learned that giving kisses includes the use of your tongue. That is one thing that will HAVE to change. And soon! LoL! You have also decided recently that since I call her little mama, you have deemed her mama instead of me. Unless you don't feel good or get an owie. Then you know that I'm mama. And as bad as I hate to say it, I can't help but feel a little good, knowing that I'm the one you come to when you're not feeling good. Me or dada. And you are all about dada when he's home. There are just so many aspects of you and your life that I just love. And I mean all of it except for when you hurt or don't feel good, and I know that there's nothing I can do about it. Getting an owie is one thing. One kiss and it's all better. But when you have an upset tummy like last night, or when you're running a fever and all I can do is hold you, knowing that it's not going to make it stop, those are the times that I hate.

There are so many things that I want to do with you as you grow. I told your grandma the other day that if you and I can have just half of the relationship that she and I have, I will consider myself extremely blessed. You have to understand, my mama was my mom first, and my friend second. And that distinction was so hard for me to discern sometimes and I couldn't stand it. But now that I'm older I realize that if she hadn't been my mom first, we wouldn't have the relationship we have today, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. So I hope you know, I'm gonna be your mom first. And there are times that you're not going like me, and you're going to wish we weren't related, but I'm still gonna love you, and still gonna be your mom first. Anyway, I will close this chapter and continue, another night. Love you little girl!

Mama

Been so long

Wow! I admittedly have no excuse for not blogging in so long. I've had a lot happen in the last two months. I do plan on continuing with my "Dear Chance" letters if I can ever get things to settle down on this end. Whew! Her great grandma passed away shortly after the last blog and the rest of the time has been a blur since. So much has happened with the little'en. She is walking now. She is resentful of crawling actually. She started taking one to two steps then sitting back down, and she didn't want the first person helping her. Well grandma and grandpa came into town for Thanksgiving, grandpa helped her walk across the living room...and the rest, as they say, is history. She's been walking ever since. Bless her little heart. She just runs around here every where! Loves it! She's on to eating straight people food now, all the time. She absolutely loves eggs and she loves chicken. Those are her favorites but she's all about trying things. Her Uncle has gotten her hooked on BBQ chips too. Now THAT one is funny as all get out. Her hair is also long enough now that I can put it in a pony tail on top of her head. She looks like Pebbles from the Flintstones. But at least when her hair is up, her daddy and uncle aren't all about cutting her hair. LoL! And she's talking more and more. Her teacher said that as the walking took hold, her talking would come with her. And I'm so tickled to admit, she is. She's my little person. And she is definitely testing her limits. Whoo doggies! Don't even get me started on that one there! LoL!
Her daddy and I have really gotten into the Christmas spirit this year too! It's so awesome. We debated and debated and finally decided we would put up a tree. So we did that last night. I know, I know. Its not the day after Thanksgiving. But hey, it's up! LoL! We got some lights on the front of the house as well. So exciting. I love it! Ah Christmas. I'm so excited this year!

The Magic of a Mommy's Kiss

Remember as a kid you could fall down and bang your elbow or scrape your knee and no matter how bad it was, mom's kiss always made it better? The little things that you tend to forget as you grow up? Unless, that is, you're blessed to have a little one of your own running around. And even then, it takes a good year before it really sinks in and sends it home. Today was that day for me. Squeak was crawling around on the floor, and she had her toy in her hand and she slipped and popped her head on the floor. Nothing major but she immediately started crawling over to me. So of course, I pick her up, find the spot on her head and kiss it and tell her "All done, I kissed it and made it all better." She smiles, instantly stopping the tears and wants back down on the floor so she can keep playing. It's amazing. The magic is back, and now I'm the one that has it. Don't get me wrong, my mama's kiss is STILL magic to me! But now I have some of it that I can pass down, and hopefully Squeak will be able to pass it down herself.

Dear Chance

Wow. It's been a year ago Saturday. A whole year. It's been a crazy year. The whole first two months of your life were spent in a hospital incubator. We had scares of MRSA, isolation, bleeding intestines and not gaining weight. You're still not gaining a lot of weight. You're gonna be a little thing I fear. You're my runt!

I remember being so scared to even be a mom. Then I found out I was pregnant with you. I went to the doctors office and they did some testing. Based on the date of my last period and the level of hormones in my blood, I was six to eight weeks along. So they did an ultrasound, to make sure that everything was okay. My heart fell out of my chest when the doctor told me that there was nothing there to indicate a pregnancy which left them to believe that you were either in my tubes, or I had miscarried. I cried for hours. That was on Wednesday Mar 19. Two days later I went in and had testing run again. They drew blood once more. This time the hormone levels were almost three times what they were two days before. SO, since my OB was on vacation, I was sent down the road to do another ultrasound and they find something. Something that would indicate that you were in my ovary and if they didn't do emergency surgery, it could rupture and it would just be bad all the way around. So I'm sent up to the hospital that my doctor works out of and I'm rushed in for surgery. They put me under, go in to remove you only to find out that there was nothing there, and what they thought was you, was actually a cyst on my ovary. I was either still pregnant, or I had miscarried.
Couple of days later I'm rushed back up to the hospital because I start bleeding. They run an ultrasound and they find that the bleeding is caused from the surgery, perfectly normal and guess what's there...the yolk sac. You were still cells. I was only three weeks along and not the original six to eight weeks like we all thought.

So, then we go back, the doctor puts me on all kinds of vitamins and things and we go on. Well we have a few ultrasounds, your grandpa starts a pool to see who'll be right about your birth date, and is absolutely convinced you'll be born on the 21st of October. Well they come up for a visit, at the same time that we go in to do an ultrasound to find out if you're a girl or a boy. Now by this time, your dad and I have already decided we were going to name you Chance no matter what gender, but the middle name would have been dependent. So I surprise my parents and tell them the morning of, what we were actually doing. They come in and see the ultrasound where the tech tries and tries to find out what you were. When she was getting all of your measurements you were still as everything. Then I just HAD to get up and pee, because I'd drank so much water for the ultrasound, and when I came back into the room, you'd woke up. She thought you were a girl, but try as she might, she could not confirm. Well, your grandpa had been convinced since the time I told him I was pregnant that you were a girl. You couldn't have argued with him otherwise. Well a couple of weeks later we go in and do another ultrasound, this time to make sure blood flow is good and everything else, and the ultrasound tech starts lookin around and low and behold you stick your little butt right to the monitor and show the room that you are indeed a girl!

Well with that ultrasound we learn a few things. I've got problems with blood pressure already and that causes other issues with blood flow through the main artery leading to you. Now this whole time, I'm expecting to be able to feel you moving any time. Most things I've read says I should feel you any where between twelve and sixteen weeks. And I'm not feeling anything yet. Turns out not only was the placenta at the back of my uterus, but my uterus was tilted. Double whammy. I didn't feel you until about twenty weeks. Little did I know that I'd only be able to feel you for another ten. When I really started feeling you good was when my family threw a baby shower for me that I was unable to attend because I had to work. Your Godfather brought back all the stuff and we were opening presents. One of which was a little fishing pole that had a little reel that was a bath toy. You could turn the reel and it would make a loud clicking sound. Well I clicked it and you went ape crazy. It was the first time I really felt you and I did it again and again and again! It was so amazing to feel you wiggling around. Well time went on, I wound up getting put on bed rest because I was toxic and my blood pressure would not regulate. They even sent a home health nurse out to look at me. She did a couple of tests and boom, I was back at the hospital. Coincidentally, my doctor was on vacation! LoL! But I'd gotten to know his associate doctors well in the few weeks leading up to that so I was okay. Oh, one other time before all of this I had been sent up to the hospital to make sure that they didn't need to admit me for Toxemia. Well, this time they admitted me. That was the 19th of September.

The week that ensued is a whole other story in itself that I will get into at a later time. But regardless, Friday morning they came in before I could get into my breakfast really good and told me that after the blood pressure episode that had happened the day before, they decided they were going to take you that day. Man I was scared stupid when they told me that! Holy crap, realization set in, I was gonna be a mama that day. You were coming. Suddenly, I wasn't ready! I was scared to death. You were so early! What was going to happen to you? Would the steroids that the doctor had given me for your lung production worked? I mean, that had only been 2 days before that I'd finished the course. I had a million questions. Would you have any development issues? Would you be normal? Would there be any issues from you being so small? Then I realized, none of the questions mattered. I could ask them all day long, but you were still going to be born that afternoon regardless. I called your grandma and told her. I said "Happy Birthday, you're gonna be a grandma today." She told me later that she was meeting your grandpa for dinner, he was taking her out for her birthday. At the moment you were born, she looked up in the sky and saw a rainbow. She knew at that moment that everything was going to be okay, and that you were going to be fine.

Well, they prepped me for surgery, made the whole bottom half of my body go completely numb, and at 3:47, you were born. And I remember, it was so hard, because I could barely see you for five seconds. They had to immediately intubate you to help you breathe, because you couldn't do it on your own. I couldn't hold you at all. And I remember, I was so out of it from the anesthetic for the surgery that all I could do was fall asleep. When I woke up, it was almost ten o'clock and I was able to go see you. You were so tiny. All I could do was cry. I couldn't even get out of the wheel chair. I wasn't allowed to do too much because I'd just had a pretty major surgery. I sat up there for about ten minutes and made just about every nurse up there cry with me. It was so hard. You were so little. In that moment I felt so guilty. It was my body you were in. I must have done something wrong that you were born early. If I had done this different or that different would it have made a difference? You were so little and so helpless. And in my mind at that time, it was all my fault and I don't think the Pope himself could have convinced me other wise. But whether I felt that way or not, you were here.

A whole lot has changed in a year. You came home after almost two months and there are still moments that I don't think I can do this. But it's strange, because I watch you now, crawling around my living room with the biggest smile on your face and I know, everything is alright. You were meant to come home to me. You were meant for me. One of my biggest fears now is that I will let God down. He trusted your daddy and I enough to be your parents and I hope we can make him proud. My hope is that we don't let him or you down.

Anyway, Happy Birthday baby. I can't believe you're a year old today. Time has flown. Wow. You're beautiful and you have enriched my life so much. I love you.

Mama

A year ago today

It's funny how fast a year passes. A year ago today was a bad day for my husband. I got up at about 4 that morning and I was cramping really bad. They had no idea what I was cramping from and originally thought it was gas. The nurse had me get up and walk down the hall way to see if it would relieve the pain. I did. I remember getting back to the hospital bed and them checking my blood pressure. From there, it was an absolute blur. I don't remember it myself but apparently my husband and the nurse that was supposed to leave, worked on me from 4:30-9:30 getting my blood pressure to stabilize. They brought in an ultrasound machine and looked at the artery in my hip that was responsible for delivering the blood from my body to the young'un. They took the results to the doctor and I waited. I look back on that time and I wonder how her daddy even made it through.

Twice in 1 day!

LoL! This will be a short one on top of the other I promise. Her case worker was out today to see how she's doing and progressing. She said she's doing amazing and she's come a long way since we first started this. I'm so proud of my little girl! She's my whole world! Bless her heart, she got stranger anxiety today! And with all people of her case worker! LoL! It was funny though. She was telling me about how she's improved in just the few weeks since she was out here last and it's funny what I DON'T notice it because I see her all the time! It's crazy. She's growing so fast!

So many things!

Well where do I start? In the last nine days, she has gone from formula to milk, she has started waving, she has started trying to talk more and she has another tooth coming in on the bottom! I can't wait for her teacher to see her!

The formula to milk transition was so easy! She LOVES milk. It's so funny because she will not stop until she finishes the bottle completely and when I give her the milk, honey she tilts that bottle up and drinks like she's never had it before! It's so funny! LoL!

Her teeth, oh my gosh, she struggled with it for four months and now within the last four weeks, she's had three pop through! Poor kid! LoL!

And waving! She's waving now! I'm so excited about that! It's so amazing! She's growing up so fast! She is going to be a year old in two days! I was talking to my husband about that the other night. Where I was one year ago today. Well it was that day that I was talking about, but...you get the point. I was in the hospital. I had been there for a few days and they were monitoring everything because of my gestational diabetes, my toxemia and my blood pressure. My doctor had given me a course of steroids the day before and that day. He had said he'd wanted to run them through just in case she was born early, it would boost her lung development. He had no idea at that time that she would be born a couple of days later, and that decision to run the steroids would save her life.

Wow. It's been a hellova year!

Steppin out!

Well, little girl took her first steps today! That's right! She walked (With help). She was holding onto the coffee table we have. And her teacher told me to take her toys and put them just out of reach to try and encourage her to walk to them. And me and everyone in the house has been doing that, but for some reason, it didn't click all the way. Until today! She'd done it once on our chair the other day, but this was on the ground, on the hard wood floor! I'm so proud of my little girl! Her teacher will be too when she sees. IF my daughter sees fit to show her the next time she's here that is! LoL! I have one cantankerous little pipsqueak on my hands. LoL! I'm in so much trouble! LoL!

Quick update

Okay so I know right!? 2 blogs in 1 night!? I know! Okay but this is gonna be quick I promise. LoL! Anyway, she had eggs for the first time tonight. Her teacher and I were talking today about her getting more protein and I had talked to her pediatrician before about it. Well, she wasn't sure about them. And I think it's mostly the texture than it is anything, but it was so funny! I think she likes them! LoL! Anyway, I had to just put that blurb in there. It was interesting for her.

She said it!

She said mama! She's said it the last couple of days, intentionally! It's been great! Of course, her teacher comes today and she won't even mumble a word...UNTIL she leaves. Yep! No joke, once her teacher is out the door she starts babbling and doesn't stop. LoL! That's my daughter alright! LoL! Gotta love her!

I can't believe that she's going to be a year old in twelve days. It's so crazy. It's been such a crazy year that has gone by so fast! It's just that hard to believe. She is such a happy baby. And I hear things about other people that have gone through a premie situation completely different from ours. We have been so blessed. She's a fighter! And she's stubborn as a mule! You can tell her no on something and she'll look at you like you're on crack and giggle. Tell her again and she smiles and then stops, then will look at you and do it again, just to see if you're paying attention.

I tell ya, there's nothing better in the world than being a mom. She has enriched our lives so much! I can't believe I almost lost her, I can't believe I was almost too scared to have kids. LoL! Then I think about it, and I can't believe I'm a mom. Ah motherhood.

Teeth

Okay so I had a most interesting weekend and it's been a rough last week and a half on my little girl. First off lets start with her teeth. She's had 2 of her top teeth, yes thats right, 2, come in within a week of each other. Second, I had to go out of state for some family problems and I was gone all Labor Day weekend. Well, daddy took over. Poor thing got so used to mama, that having nothing but daddy threw her off. Then her schedule got thrown off even more cuz daddy took her to grandma and grandpas. Which in itself wouldn't have been bad, except they spent the night over there. SO that, needless to say, threw her schedule off even more! There was no doggies, no Uncle G, no noiseless AC. So then she got home, I got home daddy helped out for a day then had to go back to work. So this morning, she was NOT a happy camper when she had daddy for 5 solid days, then didn't have him any more. But she seems to be getting back on track. Bless her heart. She's happy tonight. More familiar surroundings, more familiar schedule, back to the routine. And I am glad she's getting back to herself.

11 Months Old

My little girl is 11 months old today. A year ago today I was fighting with my blood pressure on a constant basis and trying to figure out if I had gestational diabetes or not. Boy how things have changed. I look at her now and she's over 2 ft tall. 28" at last check. It's so beautiful to hear her laugh and giggle and when she smiles, everything is right with the world. I can't believe that in 31 days, she's going to be a year old. Wow. Time is passing so quickly.

Learning "No"

My daughter has NO FEAR. She also has absolutely no concept of the word NO. I remember when she was still in the NICU having the convo with my mom about picking and choosing battles and the comment was made that we were going to have to be gentle with her because she's delicate. Yeah well let me tell you, she's a tough little shit and the whole be gentle with her thing has gone completely out the door. You can look at her and tell her no, and I've done it in the most stern tone that I have available and she will look up at me, notice that I've said something, smile and go right back to what she was doing! OMG this child is her father! Bull headed and stubborn as all get out! LoL!

On another note though, boy how the tables have changed when it comes to the dogs. T-man could care less about Squeak, but Symph, she treats her as if she were one of her puppies. Someone walks in and she is instantly between Squeak and whoever it is. Even when her teacher is here, and Symph loves her teacher! But when they're playing, she's all business. She's right in the thick of things making sure that the teacher isn't hurting her. My neighbor came over not to long ago to fix my kitchen lights, he walked around the corner to look at her in her Jenny Jumper and boy Symph just jumped up and let him know that she was there and he was NOT going to let him touch her until I said it was okay. It was so funny. So now she's the front line, and the sneak up and shank ya in the back if you get too close. She's a pretty busy little puppy. LoL! Figuratively speaking anyway. But she's a great advocate. It's nice. Life is good and she is such a happy baby. I'm so blessed!

Crawling

So it's been a few days since y last post. But I have to say, so much has changed! She's not only crawling ALL OVER THE PLACE. And this has just started in the last few days that she's really taken to crawling every where. Well today, she was crawling around the living room and she went to the steps that we have leading to the dining room in the house. She showed absolutely NO FEAR, and she crawled up every step leading to the dining room! I was amazed! It was so cool! I was tickled pink! So when her daddy got home, I told him to stand in the doorway of the living room/dining room and set her on the floor, and there she went! She's gotten to the point that she won't even stay on the rug any more. Hard wood or not, she's gone! LoL! She loves it! It's so amazing. I can't believe that in a little over a month and a half she's going to be a year old. So much has changed I can barely remember her being in the hospital. She's got so much fight in her that I look at her and I swear she's gonna be a little scrapper. LoL! School awaits and I absolutely dread every second until that time. I've thought about home schooling so many times, I just hope I can actually go through with it. That would alleviate so much worry. Yeah right. LoL! Oh well. Time will tell I'm sure. Anyway, I was so excited, I just had to share. Eke. My little girl is growing up. So many firsts to come. Time is flying by so fast. I can't believe it.

More firsts

My little girl is sitting up all on her own now! I'm so excited. She can go from laying down to sitting up all by herself! Eke! She's making such strides! It's amazing! She's still so little though. Most people look at her and can't believe that she's so alert for her size, but no one realizes she's almost ten months old and still as little as she is. Her pediatrician says she's doing great. She's been eating like a champ too and I think she's back to gaining weight but I'm not sure. It seems like she is though. Her buckles are getting tighter on her height chair. So that's a good thing. She's almost crawling too! She's inch worming. She hasn't gotten the whole concept down of one knee in front of the other, but she's getting there. I can put her down on the floor and she just wiggles around and keeps trying. She's growing up so fast! :-(
It's good that she's growing, but she's going to be off to college before I know it. Time flies. I can't believe she's gonna be a year old in 2 months. Where has it gone?

Her first word

So my little girl said her first word today. Her first word was dada. She was talking and hollerin and we were all like "mama" and "dada" and all of a sudden she just blurted out dada! Of course we all screamed and scared the crap out of her, but she did it! She said dada! Man, she's growing so much! I could cry. LoL!

Figuring things out

Well, little girl has figured out how to use a brush. Well, she's gotten the main concept of it anyway. She was setting there today and she picked up her brush and tried brush her uncle's hair. Or well, his head anyway. LoL! It's amazing to watch what she learns on a daily basis. What she picks up and puts to use...amazing.

9 Month Check Up

Well, little girls check up didn't go too well. She's growing in length just fine, in fact in length she jumped from the 10th percentile to the 33rd percentile. However in weight, she's actually lost weight. The doctor said it's very likely that it's because she is more active and she told me to actually start feeding her more than normal if she'll take it. She said that it does concern her in the fact that it has took her from the 10th percentile in the premie category to the 5th percentile and we need to get it back up as quickly as we can. I feel just beside myself with worry. I'm going to do everything I can to get her back to where she needs to be. And it's admittedly a bit worse knowing that the doctor is a little worried herself. But she's confident that the increase in calories will do the trick. I just hope she's right.

Killer Whales

So I have a love of Orca's. Well the other night while looking for a ringtone for my aunt, I stumbled across a ringtone that is killer whales singing. So I downloaded it. I put it for my text. Well the other day, I got a text and it went off and my daughter started mocking the whale song. It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. When she's in a good mood and the phone goes off she will mock the song. She makes the same squealing sound. Ahh, what I'm doing to my child. LoL!

Being a mommy

I love being a mom. I was so scared when I first thought of it, but I just, I love it. Sometimes its the most stressful thing in the world, but others it's bliss. Making her smile is the best thing in the whole world. I love making her smile, or giggle and laugh. It's all so worth it! Ahh. Life is good!

Baby Monitor

So just a little funny story. My husband took the Squeak back to the bedroom to put her in her room and we were gonna watch a movie. So I go ahead and get the monitor and turn it on. Well I'm waiting and waiting for my husband to come back and I notice all of the little red dots move all the way up, then all they way back down. All the way up, then all they way down. Looked like an equalizer on a radio. So I turn up the volume and I laugh my butt off hearing that it's my husband, snoring. LoL! Good times. Good times.

Teething

Well, little girl has had her bottom teeth come in and it has been hell on the tyke. Well last night she was just crying, and we thought it was her ears. Well took her into the doctor today and all four top teeth are coming in at once! Poor thing! That's why she was having so much trouble with sleeping. She has NOT slept well at all in the last few days. The doctor said we can give her some Infant Motrin and it might work better than the Tylenol, dependent on the baby. So far, it seems to have helped. Poor thing has slept all day because she's been out of pain for the first time in a while. The Motrin is also an anti-inflametory which would help out with her gums. Only time will tell. My little girl is growing so fast. She's up to 14 lbs now on the dot. Growing, growing, growing.

Growing

She's getting bigger! I can hardly believe it. She's 14 lbs now and has both bottom teeth. My first Mother's Day was amazing as she and her daddy took me to a Ren Fest and I got a little ring that pulls apart into 4 separate rings but when together weaves into a beautiful dainty ring.

At times I don't see her growing, until I look at one of her old premie outfits, then I almost want to cry. Then I have to laugh when I think about how much like me she is sometimes. Not in looks! In looks she is ALL her daddy. But the little things there are that I've found. Like the fact that she loves sleeping on her stomach just like me. She loves to sleep in, just like me. She smiles all the time. Well I'm not that good all the time, but I'm sure I was when I was a baby. And she loves to just ramble on even though what she is saying makes no sense to anyone but her, just like me. LoL!

She's come so far. I was going through old pictures and I can't imagine life without her. I remember the nights when she was up at the hospital, waiting to grow so she could come home, and I would cry myself to sleep praying that she made it through the night. Now I watch her sleep and cant help but just be so thankful for the fact that only is she home, she's doing amazing, and little as she is, she's so advanced. She is small but mighty. She laughs and giggles all the time now and she is so animated. Even the teacher that comes out to see her made that comment yesterday. That for her age, she's very animated. She's my little girl. I'm so proud to be a mommy. I couldn't imagine life without her.

Milestones

Man is she becoming more and more her own little person. It's amazing. She finally had her first tooth really pop through yesterday and today. After all the fighting of teething, her bottom right tooth is through! Eke! She's also sitting up and actually playing with her toys! It's so amazing to see how much she grows every day. I'm really thankful that I'm able to stay home with her. It's so great to know she's doing so good. The developmental people also called as well. They said that the tests that they ran showed that she is doing amazing. Her cognitive and motor skills are right where they need to be for a 6 month old even though she was technically 3 1/2 months at the time of the test due to her being 10 weeks early. That gets frustrating let me tell you. Because she was 10 weeks early, when the doctor looks at her development, she takes her actual age, minus 10 weeks, and that's her age. It's because that first 10 weeks of her life she was playing catch up from being born so early and developing what should have been developed in the womb. So that being said, I can't complain, because it means my little girl is ahead of the curve! I'm so proud of my little squeaky butt!

Growing growing growing

My little girl becomes more and more her own person every day. She's decided that when she's laying down she likes to lay on a little spot on the couch, so when we take a nap during the day I wake up to her kicking me in the forehead. LoL! It's great.

Now the other day we were at dinner and we got this appetizer that has lime on it. Well daddy got the sneaky idea to try her reaction at lime. Let me just say I wish I'd had a camera. Then we tried orange and lemon with the same pucker lipped response. It was great. She's been so funny here lately. She loves to talk and she makes these funny little squealing sounds when her daddy and uncle get home. She's just got so much personality. It's amazing to watch her grow. Every day she figures more and more things out. Last week she waved, and we aren't sure yet if it was just a fluke or not, but she did. And this morning she rolled from her back onto her tummy. She's growing up so fast. Her grandma asked me today and I had no idea how to answer...where has the time gone?

TV

Now I'm not one to throw my daughter in front of the TV but I know she does enjoy watching fishing shows with her daddy. Well today I turned on that show Life that they've had on the Discovery Channel lately. Well I put her down just to see what she does, and kid you not, she starts talking to the fish in the TV! LoL! It was great! She was so happy. When she gets happy she kicks her feet and just wiggles. She was wiggling everywhere. It was so great. Now she's hooked on Twister which is like an all time GREAT movie. It's one of those that we've seen so many times we can recite each line. And thankfully, she's loving it too! LoL! Maybe I should try out this TV thing more often? Nah! I have too much fun reading to her.

First Easter

Well, my little girl has had quite a few firsts here recently. She's been trying different solid foods and her favorites seem to be peas and pears. She's started giggling recently as well. You can tickle her and really get her going and it's so funny. She had a good Easter for the most part. She's had a couple of bad parts. She's such a home body it's not funny. She does not like to be somewhere that is not home for too long. And she's okay as long as mama or daddy are holding her, but let one of us put her down, or someone else pick her up and she will unleash the wrath of baby on the room until she gets either mama or daddy back. She's fine once she calms down, but until that moment, you're going to feel the wrath. LoL! Other than that though, her first Easter went great and she was amazing in her little John Deere onsie that says "I Make Dirt Look Good". Her Easter dress was WAY too big still. Bless her little heart. Next year we'll be better prepared for the girl. No worries, she is still my beautiful little girl.

First Day Out

Well, Squeak got her first big day out yesterday. Me and daddy had some running to do so we made a day of it. I think her favorite part was Bass Pro Shops. Daddy has a big tournament and needed some fishing line. Well if you've ever been to one of the several BPS they have in the country, you know that most of them have a huge fish tank with monster fish in it. That amazed her. She woke up in time to see the aquarium and she LOVED it. There was a huge Channel Cat that was in the tank that was probably 10 times bigger than she is that could have swallowed her whole that she just stared at. And it was so funny because at first she didn't see it until it swam past her and then her eyes got big as saucers and that was all it took! LoL! It was so great. Then we went and visited her grandma and grandpa (Daddy's rents). I don't know how she took it. She wasn't real happy. But I think a lot of it is just because it was new to her. She was okay as long as mama and daddy were there. Bless her little heart. She's growing so much. It's the little things in life. And it was scary getting her out of the house for the first time, and I probably hovered over her the whole time we were at BPS but I'm entitled! I'm her mommy! LoL!

She has also foregone her nuk. She don't even care about it. Now...have thumb, will travel. And her blankie. She's got a blankie that her grandma (My mom) either knitted or crocheted, not sure which is which honestly, that she just loves it. It's got holes in it (just like mine did), and she loves to stick her fingers and toes through. It's so great. So my little girls motto for the moment..."Have blankie and thumb, will travel." LoL!

6 Months Old Today

Happy Birthday baby! It was 6 months ago today. Doesn't seem like it at all. I love you.

Getting Bigger

My little girl is growing so fast! She's almost six months old and I just at times can't believe she's growing. She's just grown out of her New Born clothes and is in her 0-3 months now. I can't imagine my life without her. She's got such a personality now. She has a doctors appointment tomorrow. She's developmentally only four months old now and she's doing so good! She's rolling over and she is trying to crawl. She's not doing bad at all at it. Well I will report tomorrow as soon as she sees the doctor. Sure she's gained weight.

She rolled over!!!

My little girl rolled over the other day during tummy time. She's growing up so fast! I can't get over it. And she's sleeping more at night, and dare I admit, she slept through the night last night! My Squeaker is gettin so big. She's growing up. And she's so beautiful when she wakes up in the morning and she smiles so big. Ugh. I love her so much.

Update

Okay so this is just a quick update. Squeaker is doing great. She's doing tremendously well considering she's dealing with a sick mommy. I got her cold and I fought it and fought it but in the end...alas...it caught me. She found her feet the other day. They totally fascinated her. Then she was in her bouncy chair and she sat up all by herself! She hasn't done it since, but she did it once. And she is doing a lot more vocalizing. It's so great! She loves to talk. We're working on forming words. But I realize we have a LONG WAY to go. I'm just so excited! She went to the doctor because of her cold and they ran the RSV test and it came back negative which is SUCH a blessing for her! But on a happy note, she weighed 9lb 15oz neked. I'm so proud of my little Squeaker Butt! She's my whole world. And that world is so good now that she's in it! Not that it was bad before, but she has just brought so much more that I didn't even know existed. Mommyhood is amazing.

MRI results....

Well the results came back. They were great! They see that the birthmark is just a collection of blood vessels like they thought and they are not affecting or encroaching on any of her eye or ear growth! I'm so tickled. They made an appointment for May 5 (Cinco De Mayo...LoL!) for her to see a dermatologist just to make sure it doesn't get worse. But I'm so glad it's nothing to be worried about. Life is good.

First Valentines Day

Well for starters her MRI went great! They had to keep her over night because of her age and them having to sedate her for the procedure. I can officially say that she is doing great! We wont know the results of the MRI until tomorrow, but she is home! For her Valentine's Day, her first ever and she's such a happy little girl. She's so beautiful. I don't know how we did it.

MRI

Well my little girl's MRI was scheduled for next Wednesday. They told us in the prelim appointment yesterday that because she's less than 55 weeks since conception, because they are sedating her, she is going to have to spend the night in the hospital and we will be staying there. They are putting us in a room with her which is a fab thing. I'd sleep in a chair just as easily, but a bed will be nicer. :-) They called this morning and said they had a cancellation and that we can do it tomorrow morning instead. Last minute change of plans here. So...we took them up on the offer! I didn't want to have to wait until next week anyway. So, I will write more as soon as I know what the prognosis is. Please keep our little girl in your thoughts and prayers that all of this turns out good.

First fever...

My little girl ran her first fever. It was horrible. It was from the shots that she was given but it lasted from about 10 that night until around 3 yesterday afternoon. And she still didn't feel great. Today is a lot better. She is doing so much better today.

They called this morning about getting her eye imaged. Apparently the doctor talked to the doctors at the hospital and they've decided that she should get an MRI done instead of a CT scan. Well because she's so little, they're going to have to put her under. So NOW, I have to go in and have an appointment with an anesthesiologist, and then get her in for her imaging. Poor thing. I feel so bad that she has to go through this. UGH! It's supposed to be one of the best children hospitals in the state, which is great, I just...I hate that they have to do this to her. She's been through enough in her short 4 months of life. Ya know!? Hopefully after this she will be able to get a reprieve for a bit. Bless her heart.

Doctors Visit

Today was her 4 month check-up. She's doing great! She is 9lb 8oz now and 22in long! I can't believe it! Her pediatrician was very impressed. She's got a spot on her right eye that we had looked at today. It was originally thought it was a bruise from her first tummy time but we've been told that it may be a vascular birth mark that should go away by itself but because it's on her right upper cheek bone, they want to make sure it won't affect her eye. So we're being referred to a pediatric hospital to get an ultrasound/ct scan done and see where we are. I hope all is well and that this will not affect her negatively in any manner. She's crashed out pretty hard right now from her shots bless her heart. But all in all, she is great! I'm so proud of her. She's doing great!

Sleeping

She has started cooing and making noises and answering a lot more lately. She LOVES to smile and when she sleeps, she likes to have her head in the blanket, and just like mommy, she's got to have her feet out! LoL! She's so funny. She's doing a lot better now that she's on her cereal and seems to be taking it really well in her bottle at night. Anyway...just a short update. Had to tell about her sleeping! LoL! She's such a little character.

Intrduction of cereal

The last few days have been hell in this house. It's been hard on all of us with no explanation as to why except that she was just NOT happy. I was talking to a friend of mine today who asked if she was sitting up. She's considered a supported sitter. Well yes, she's been able to sit for a little while now. Then she said that she should be eating cereal. SO sure enough, pediatrician said the same thing. So I get her some cereal. You want to talk about an absolute turn around from the last few days? She's smiling and wiggling and talking. She's got a full tum tum and she's a happy baby now! LoL!

And on the other note, now I feel like an absolute idiot because I was supposed to introduce cereal when she started holding her head up and I didn't know! I didn't have a clue! My poor little girl has been hungry this whole time and I've just been giving her more and more formula when all she needed was some cereal. UGH! And my sister-in-law said something to me about when she started her children on cereal. I should have called my pediatrician before now. She's so much happier after putting cereal in 1 bottle! I can't believe the difference! I can't believe I didn't do this before now! :-(

Secret Services?

So my dogs have recently been compared to the Secret Services. T-man is the little one that stands right next to my little girl and growls at you for coming too close while Symph is the big one in the back ground patiently waiting for you to make your move before she rips your skin off for thinking about touching her. The one you really need to be leery of. You know, the one with the finger on the trigger of the gun, that will give her life to protect and serve. It's a pretty amazing feeling with the both of them around her. I thought for a bit they would be jealous, but they are both the most protective dogs you will ever see. Symph went from puppy to protector the instant my daughter came through the door. And it's so funny, the first time I set her on the floor Symph was scared to death she was gonna hurt her. She looked at the bouncy chair and sat down. I had to tell her it was okay and so she reached in and sniffed. My daughter squeaked and she backs up and sits back down. Once she figured out that she wouldn't hurt her, she went into instant protect mode. So if you come to my house...watch out for the Secret Services. :-)